Before there was Gulcher, there was Gulcher! Click For Infos.
Say what?!? That’s right!! Before there was Gulcher Records, there was Gulcher Magazine! As it turned out, it was so much more fun to make records than just write about them. Anyway, yeah. Grunt. The first issue was Gulcher #0, edited by none other than Mr. Eddie Flowers. Or was it Eddy? Well you can look that up yourself, ‘cause Eddie/Eddy/Eduardo has just curated an online reissue of Gulcher #0 at Slippy Town Times. Not to mention a new Crawlspace rock’n’roll album! (He woulda been on the Gizmos Live In Bloomington too, had he not been ill.) Curate? Rock’n’roll? Huh? Kick out the jams, mofos!! (BR)
http://slippytown.com/2gulcher.htm
Crawlspace
The Spirit Of ’76
(Gulcher 607)
Take me back. Yeah, take me back. Take me back to where I once beee-longed. (Elvis version of the Fab 4.) Git back juju. Man, I always hated “retro”–although I always loved “roots.” What’s the diff? Who knows, and who cares! After 15 years or so in the outer regions, the Crawlspace mamaship has touched down on solid rock again. Start wigglin’ yer toes in mud and rollin’ rugs off the floor. What am I saying here, brothers and sisters? I’m saying…LET’S ROCK!
Out in Slippy Town, Republic of California, they got rock and revolution on their minds. R&R circa 1950-1976 (but time is an illusion). Revolution coz yeah, war still sux and racism still sux. But this is revolution thru tokin’ and dancin’–not the kinda bad-vibe methods that W.’s cabal is using to fug up the whole party. What follows is the Crawlspace 13-point program, collectively known as The Spirit Of ’76:
1. “Theme For A Wet T-Shirt Contest”–The boys in the band jam out an instrumental intro in honor of perky nipples ‘n plump-dimpled butts. This ain’t sexism, sisters, it’s bowing before the holy twat.
2. “Califawnia Gurls”–Original version was from 1976 by the Brooklyn trio called O. Rex (with upstate NY dude and Gizmos founder Ken Highland). Hey gals, if you refuse it, you just might lose it! Keep them snappers from snappin’ too hard!
3. “Just Seventeen”–Heavy Raiders tune from their “hip” 1970 album Collage. Crawlspace will now paraphrase the prophet John Waters: “If there’s hair, it’s fair!” How many puritans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Nobody knows, because puritans won’t admit they screw.
4. “Hey Joe (Version Version)”–Mutation in action: Patti Smith’s “Sixty Days” intro to her “Hey Joe (Version)” ’74 single + the Arthur Lee/Love arrangement ’66 = Crawlspace breathin’ in some folk-rockin’ air. The message is pretty muddled here, but yes, there is anti-Iraq War rhetoric improvised towards the end. I mean, really, man, can you BELIEVE the 21st century so far?!
5. “Fight For Liberation”–Crawlspace stands for rock first, but we’re also lefties somewhere down the line. Yes, art always outweighs politics, but sometimes they get all tangled up in a way that works. One of the best examples of that is Patrick Sky’s 1973 album Songs That Made America Famous. The original of this song was the opening track. It has a “message”–it’s not very subtle–it sez look at the world from the bottom up. It’s also funny!
6. “Take Your War On Vacation”–This is our own personal rockin’ take on the current insanity. Our philosophy of life: hey man, let’s all just get stoned and forget about it–but if you just can’t let it go, puh-leeze attack the right people and leave the rest of us alone! Can’t we all just get along? Won’t you please pass the bong?
7. “Leavin’ Here”–And if we can’t find no peace, we might just gotta be gettin’ outta here again! Where’s my space suit? We based our version of Eddie Holland’s “Leavin’ Here” on the 1965 cover version by Ron Wood’s mod band the Birds.
8. “Space Truckin'”–Riff! Riff! Bang! Bang-a-bang! Whoosh! We take Deep Purple’s 1972 classic and throw it in the furnace of our homemade UFO. Here we go again! Rrrrrrrrrroooooaarrrrrr!
9. “Rat Fink”–From Allan Sherman’s immortal album My Son, The Nut (1963). Crawlspace turns Sherman’s version of “Rag Mop” into a stoned skunkabilly anthem. Everybody sing along: “R-A-T-T F-I-N-K! Rat fink! Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah!” The political ramifications of this track are open to debate.
10. “Never Never”–When will we stop rockin’? The title sez it all! Git on board the rocket ship now! This is the third and final Crawlspace original here.
11. “Chemicals In The Mail”–The spirit of…’78? That’s the year the original of this killer was released by the C*nts. It’s another song with a strong message: “I just turn the channels till I get chemicals in the mail.”
12. “Erotic Neurotic”–An abbreviated version of a long punk-rock song from 1977 by the Saints, quite possibly the best so-called punk-rock band that ever existed. So sayeth the mighty author of these words!
13. “Sympathy For The Devil”–What can be said? Good and evil are illusions of the human brain. But if forced to choose, rock’n’roll must choose Lucifer. How’d the Horned One get such a bad rep anyway? This tune, of course, is the opening track from the best album (released ’68) by the world’s eleventh greatest R&R band. Yes, music fans, the beginning of this track is a jam coming out of a Roky Erickson song (“Children nailed to the cross!”), but we won’t tell you which one! As for the end of the track, yes, there is something wrong with your stereo–impatient punks can simply turn it off, hippie rockers can pack another bowl and groove on…and on.
Crawlspace is Eddie Flowers, Greg Hajic, and Joe Dean. Robin Lehman plays synthesizer on “Space Truckin’.” Front cover painting by Krazee Ken Highland, circa 1973.
Stenson Domingo Eduardo Flores
Slippy Town
October 2006
